Gordie

gordie's at the head of the table
and i am underneath
every once in awhile he will
bang! his fist whack! on the thick
oak top and let go a belly of
laugh, not at all entirely kind
and i will hear poker chips
tinkle between bottles of beer and
watch ash fall from cigarettes
from the impact
and everyone will laugh too,
roaring drunk, slurred, heartless
laughter with no mirth

the traffic a choatic interchange
from under the table
doc martins, well-made italian shoes
the occasional high heel,
construction boots crusted
with concrete, paint and salt

i come out

four years old and gordie's
offering me the foam off his pint
tousling my hair, announced:
"this is my bastard's kid"

and i smile, sip foam, ask
gordie if i can play with his
coin collection
and he grunts, "fuck! Estelle, tell your
kids to piss off and leave my shit alone"

oh, grandpa! he's so silly

and of course Estelle shuffles out
from the corner, between lines
sighs
and pulls out the coin collection
and lets me play
and gordie mutters something
i'm not supposed to hear

i feel small
silver plated pennies
twenty five cent bills

until music starts in the attic

i leave the coins behind, wander
through the dining room, go upstairs

randy's got an afro and the record player
blasting "whole lotta love" so hard
the floor's shaking
and as i walk in a porn mag
slides off the coffee table
wedges under a bean bag

he looks up, a ring of ego around one nostril
a pile of cash in one hand, a few
quarters ready for the traffic downstairs

he's near tears
he hands me a crisp pink fifty
and says,

"promise me you'll never get into this shit"

i take the bill, giggling














st draft, wrote it a couple of months ago. Have been working like a crazy monkey and haven't had time to focus on writing anything lately.. I have a lot of half-written work but that doesn't much count. This poem in and of itself is complete, but not finished. In any case.. happy Groundhog weekend!

tryin to work out how to get the image of a Scottish afro across...

ginger fro?

dunno.